I’ve been specializing in working with couples for over 28 years; the majority of my clients are couples. Couples are not one of the things I work with; they are the main thing. (Besides couples, the other specialty I have is working with couples and Affairs.) You may notice that many therapists have a long list of issues that they work with, only one of which are couples and relationships. Often they don’t have a particular specialty and if they do, they will mention it. Therapists who specialize have typically sought out considerable extra years of training, study and consultation and gained many years of experience in their specialty over and above their graduate study.
Couple therapy is quite different from working with individual clients and requires different skills on the part of the therapist. After working with couples, both individually and together, on a wide variety of issues, I know that no two couples’ situations are alike. Each relationship is unique and it is my job to help them meet the goals they have come to meet, understand how they got to the place they are in (so they won’t end up there again), learn new skills to keep them in a good place, reconnect with each other, and to create a relationship that will sustain them once more.
Many couple say they just need help with communication, thinking if they had better skills, they’d be OK. I find that’s really not enough. We often know how to communicate in a healthy way. It’s when anger and hurt and old resentments get in the way, that our good skills go right out the window and we say things that hurt and are unkind and our partner doesn’t forget for quite awhile. Over time, these words create a wall between us that get in the way of our being close any more and in some cases even convince us we’re not in love any more.
No matter what kind of issue you and your partner are dealing with, chances are high, I’ve been there before with a number of other couples. Just because you can’t see how you can resolve the issues before you, doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to work them out. Allow me to guide you through a process of reconnecting with each other and resolving your differences. If you’re willing to do your part, I’ll do mine.
Before you give up on your relationship, let me help you untangle the reasons why your relationship just doesn’t feel good any more. It isn’t necessarily as hopeless as it seems. I’ve helped hundreds and hundreds of couples come back to closeness and find connection again.
I’d love to help your relationship achieve that! Let’s talk.
Dr. Barbara Swenson 510.277.3111
Office in Lafayette, Calif – Across from the Lafayette Bart